When Enough Is Enough

My entire life I lived in the mindset of “I need more” no matter what it was. Shopping, sex, drugs, drinking, drama, food–I lived to always find more. The saying “one is too many and a thousand is never enough” was the way I lived.

Drugs were not the problem I WAS THE PROBLEM. I looked for outside confirmation on everything. I never met me; I was the person everyone else wanted me to be. Whatever it took to fit in.

Losing my sons, my hopes, my dreams, and looking at losing my freedom, I was not convinced “enough” was “enough”. I never wanted to change. I was comfortable with what I had become, and no one expected me to be anything different.

13 years ago, I was standing in a court room ready to accept my destiny, whatever that was, since I always allowed everyone to decide for me.

Then I got a second of clarity.

All it takes is one second and your life can change forever. I remember the judge telling me she has NEVER met a woman that stayed clean long enough off my drug of choice to RECOVER.  That was my challenge and I sought out to prove her wrong. I will not be just a number in the court–I will be that one she will remember.

I AM a part of CMHS because 13 years ago the SUD team accepted me for exactly who I was. CMHS taught me to own my truth and love me for me.

Today I am Jessica, I am a mother and grandmother. I am worthy, I am strong, I am enough, and I am living my truth in RECOVERY.

Photo is representative and does not show actual CMHS client